Roan had a fever last night that shot all the way up to 104.6º.  It brought odd flashbacks to Lula's nighttime sudden temp spikes, the rounds of cold washcloths and ibuprofen and rectal thermometers.  It made me miss her more than usual even though I was always scared and miserable when it happened and knew she was too.  But it was something we could do something about and they always went away when all the other problems didn't.  It was fixable even if only until the next fever.

Roan was weepy and wanted to sleep with us which never works because he usually wiggles around like an earthworm in the sun until one of us gets fed up and sticks him back in his bed. This time he stayed and slept for a while. He was roasting hot but no other symptoms.  It's so unlike him.  He almost never gets sick, it's like Lula did all the getting sick for the both of them.  It's absurd to be so surprised, of course he's going to get sick he's a kid.  And he's going to preschool in the fall, a cesspool of germs from what I've heard.

I cancelled all of our plans and we hung out in the back yard watering the herbs and sweeping the underside of the deck. We planted cornflowers.  I let him watch Elmo and he ate nothing but cantaloupe for lunch.  He's been on a steady regimen of ibuprofen and Tylenol since yesterday and his fever hasn't dipped below 102.  I called the doctors office and the nurse said not to worry unless it lasts 7 days or goes over 105.  She made no effort to reassure me that I was justified in calling with any worry, but said this fever was rampant right now.  How is she to know that a fever is such a close memory of a lost baby?

Tomorrow I'm planning more of the same nothing in hopes that the fever will break before it ruins our weekend plans.  He's whinier than usual but otherwise he doesn't seem all that sick or even uncomfortable.  I have to remind myself that you are supposed to stop and take it easy when a baby is sick since I've literally never done that before.  I hope he gets better soon. I want my little boy back to himself.

Bedtime snuggle